The Wisdom of Dino Buddy

This, my friends, is Dino Buddy. Before I dive in and explain this little guy’s significance, I need to preface some things.

I am currently a stay-at-home mom, and I am not good at it. If you know me well, you know that I am impatient, selfish, bored easily, and I really like having deep conversations (which is difficult to do with three kids five and under). For me, this gig is probably the hardest job I’ve ever had.

And today was one of the worst days I have had doing it.

I say that because today, I thought I lost Cassius. Legitimately, I thought he was gone. I yelled at him because he refused to nap. He stormed up to his room, and I didn’t see him for about an hour. I gave him a break to cool down; during that time, I worked on my own stuff and tried to stay sane. When I went to go check on him an hour later, I went to his bedroom, and he wasn’t there.

Not only was Cassius not in his room, but he wasn’t in the entire upstairs. He wasn’t in the shop or the garage. He wasn’t in the basement. He wasn’t in the barn for the woods surrounding our house. He wasn’t anywhere. For about thirty minutes, I screamed his name (first and middle) at the top of my lungs inside the house and outside all along our property. I asked the neighbor if she had seen him, and she started looking too. It was awful. When my panic attack hit a high, I called Phil home from work. Together, we looked up and down the property, until Phil found him under a heavy blanket in the living room, completely covered and in an extremely deep sleep.

Apparently, I was right: he needed a nap.

Although he was safe, and the whole event was a big humiliating blunder, I still felt like the worst mother on the planet. I felt stupid and selfish and neglectful. I was embarrassed that I called Phil, and I am worried what the neighbor must think that I lost my five-year-old. The experience made me feel so extremely low. I thought it ruined my whole night.

But that’s where Dino Buddy stole the show.

I bought Dino Buddy as a $1 stocking stuffer “from Santa” last Christmas. It’s one of those sponge things that inflate when you put them in water. It probably should’ve lasted like four days, but Cassius somehow made this thing last seven months. It sits on his headboard, and he still carries it around with him.

His sister got ahold of Dino Buddy recently and ripped part of the tail off. My response? Just throw it away! It cost $1 seven months ago, Bud!

But Cassius is a special kid, and Dino Buddy means more to him than that.

After I put him to bed tonight, I drew myself a bath to try to relax from my stressful day. Just after I got in, Cassius came into the bathroom. He was crying. I was annoyed. Here is how our conversation went:

Addie: Cassius. You need to go to bed. What is the matter?

Cassius: I’m just so sad about Dino Buddy. He’s all broken!

Addie: Yes, I know, but we can get you a new one next Christmas! I promise!

Cassius: That’s not the problem, though, Mom...

Addie: OK. Can you tell me why you’re so upset about Dino Buddy?

Cassius: *through tears*. It’s just... I think Santa is going to be so disappointed in me for ruining Dino Buddy. He was so nice to get me this Dino Buddy for Christmas, and I think he will say, “Cassius is just a dumb kid who broke my toy.”

Addie: No, he will not say that! Santa is a nice guy! Want me to talk to him about it for you? He will understand that you didn’t break him.

Cassius: I just feel so bad. When people give you a gift, you need to take good care of it because it shows you how much they care about you. I am worried that Santa can see everything, and he will be heartbroken when he sees that I let something bad happen to Dino Buddy.

This. Kid.

So much wisdom from this five-year-old who forgets to put on his underwear 50% of the time. All this time, I didn’t think he was listening. I was so worried about him wearing his underwear and taking his dishes to the sink and washing his hands, I didn’t pay attention to the real wisdom he was absorbing. He knows about emotions and #integrity and #empathy and #friendship and #love.

It’s like he knew exactly what to do/ say to make me feel better. He had no idea how I panicked, or how awful I felt, or how I questioned my parenting, or how I felt completely worthless as a mom that I thought I lost him while he was sleeping in the living room.

#parenting is cray. #mykidisawesome #ibetternotlosehimtomorrow